Blessing in Disguise
by fangirldomain
Summary: AU where Adrien (and Marinette?) have both been struggling with suicidal thoughts. Can they help each other? Can they help themselves? Ladybug and Chat Noir are still present but akuma fights will rarely be included. Some characteristic discrepancies. Ladrien. MariChat. Adrinette. LadyNoir. (Not sure if i should go through with this story but let me know if you like it)
1. Chapter 1

Adrien let out a breath as he closed his eyes. The railing of his balcony, the one he was currently standing on, was slippery and one wrong move would send him tumbling down to his demise. It was a tempting thought. The urge to step forward was getting more and more overwhelming by the second. So Adrien, very carefully, lifted his foot.

* * *

Tikki woke up with a start. Alert. Awake. And Panicked. She could hear her tiny heart pounding out of her chest and frantically flew out of the blanket she was tucked under.

Until she saw where she was. The room was dark, but Tikki knew where she was. She was safe.

She was home.

As she heart calmed down, she thought back to the dream that she has just woken up from. It was a memory far back in her past. The kwami settled back into her small makeshift bed as the events of those years came flooding into her tiny, ancient mind. That dream had not haunted her for quite some time, so why now? Why tonight? Why back to _that_ night? She knows it was the night that everything changed, that everything could have gone _very_ very wrong.

It was the night that Ladybug met Adrien. It was also the night that saved both of their lives. And she couldn't help but wonder for the millionth time what would have happened. What would have happened if Ladybug wasn't there that night.

The memory was so fresh in Tikki's mind after her dream that she recalled the panic of that fateful night. Remembered wondering where Plagg was. Remembered thanking the gods that Ladybug covered Chat Noir's patrols. Thanking them for the luck. Remembered the fear and the outrage and the hurt that followed.

Remembered the healing.

Tikki let out a sigh as she closed her eyes. She drifted back to the depths of sleep, but not before thinking to herself: _if it were not for that night, everything would have went to shit_


	2. Chapter 2

"No" Nathalie flinched as Mr. Agreste raised his voice at his son for the second time that evening. The secretary just watched quietly.

"But father I jus-" Adrien began, but was once again cut off by the man before him.

"This is not a discussion" Mr. Agreste said firmly, patience for this conversation waning, "You need to man up and not worry about stupid things like a stupid school dance"

The teenage boy nodded; there was nothing left to say.

"Now go be useful and study or something, oh and don't eat dinner tonight" Gabriel turned to leave the room, "you have a photo shoot tomorrow morning"

Adrien just lowered his head as his father exited.

Nathalie recognized this move of Adrien's. For years she has watched the young boy be repeatedly shot down by Gabriel Agreste and could do nothing but watch. As Adrien passed her to exit the room, head still lowered, she knew he was crying. The teardrop seeping into the carpet at her feet was enough to confirm that. She wished she could say this didn't happen often.

If only there was more she could do for him, she thought to herself for probably the billionth time. Every time she had reached out, Adrien would shut himself inside of his room or just disappear for hours at a time, she often wondered what was going on in that head of his. Nathalie stared at the tear stain on the carpet, her heart aching in her chest. She didn't leave until the drop evaporated.

* * *

 _useless useless useless useless_ the word going over and over in his head.

Adrien tried to blink the tears out of his eyes. Head still lowered. He didn't dare look up until he heard the click of his door close behind him. There was a beat of silence before his knees buckled out from underneath him and the sobs racked through his body. Adrien's eyes opened their floodgates and a seemingly endless river of tears spilled down his face. Shoulders shaking and knees pulled up to his chest, he could do nothing but let his heart ache for just a bit.

He lost track of how long he sat there, behind the closed doors of his room. But when he looked up, he was met with black. It was night and all he could see were shadows. He enjoyed the darkness for a few more minutes before he turned on his light. Adrien winced as the fluorescent light filled the room. His eyes immediately focusing on the box he kept sitting on the nightstand by his bed. Being in a better state of mind, the young boy walked over to his bed, grabbed the box and opened it carefully.

The ring stared into him and he stared back into it. His chest began to ache again. Grabbing the ring out of the box, Adrien cautiously slid if back onto his finger. In a heartbeat, he heard the familiar voice of his kwami.

"ADRIEN" the voice was significantly less playful than it usually is. Panicked. Angry.

Black zipped across the room, frantic. Adrien's heart thumped in his chest as the tiny black figure made an abrupt stop in front of his face. His eyes wandered to a stray book in his room, not having the courage to be face to face with the friend that he locked away several days ago.

Plagg's look of anger quickly softened into one of concern as he took in his holder's face. Adrien's eyes were surrounded by red, they were also swollen, and his cheeks were hollow. Plagg quickly took everything in; there were several moments of silence. The kwami let out a small sigh before he began to speak.

"Adrien" Plagg said softly, wondering if Adrien heard him.

"Adrien" He said more forcefully, the 17 teen year old slowly made eye contact with his kwami. Their eyes locked as green met green.

Adrien's eyes began to line with silver. He tried to look away again.

"Hey, hey" Plagg's voice was laced with worry as he flew around to stay in his holder's sights, "I'm not mad, look at me. Look, I'm not mad okay?"

Adrien could feel a sob begin to make its way across his body. But before any more tears could fall, Plagg's relaxing voice enveloped him.

"I'm not mad, I'm not mad" Plagg said again "It's okay"

"It's okay" the kwami repeated in a softer tone.

"I'm sorry" Adrien's voice cracked, chest heaving up and down as the young man tried to even out his breaths. His eyes gave their full attention to his ancient friend, who was looking back at him with a sad smile.

"Don't be sorry" Plagg reassured him, "I'm used to it by now. Heck, if I had a dollar for every time you took off that ring, I could probably afford to hire a new miraculous holder or something" His attempt at a joke fell on deaf ears as Adrien's expression remained stoic.

"What happened?" Plagg asked, careful not to push his friend

"Nothing" Adrien replied, "Just the usual"

And with that, the kwami stopped his inquiries and flew to hug Adrien's cheek.

At the sudden contact, Adrien smiled. He was grateful that Plagg understood him. Understood that sometimes he needed to take off his ring. Understood that his life wasn't the most ideal. Understood that Adrien had bad days. The past two years with his kwami has brought light into his life, and he was grateful.

Both of them settled into bed. This was a common occurrence. When Adrien needed to be alone, he would take of his ring. It took Plagg many times before he understood that Adrien needed it. Needed the break and needed to be alone. Some times were worse than others but the kwami slowly accepted that this was how it was. He always came back worried, and constantly kept an eye on Adrien as much as he possibly could.

The kwami glanced at the sleeping teenager on the bed as he settled into his.

 _I hope he learns to love himself soon._


End file.
